When I was asked if I wanted to ride-along with DNR Rangers patrolling Lake Lanier, I said, “Heck, yes!”
Thought I’d be so cool. Mister Media Man zooming across the lake with Dirty Harry and Marshall Dillon in a speedboat with a siren.
Oh, yeah. That. Rocks.
Dreaming of hearing stuff like, “Any hidden weapons in that bikini, ma’am?”
So, I rode my motorcycle to Laurel Park and met up with DNR RFC Mitchell Crump, DNR RFC Mark Stephens and Intern Corynn West.
First, let me answer the questions that I know are most important to you:
1) Did they let you play with the siren and blue lights? No. Not even once.
2) Did they let you set off any flares or firing warning shots into the air? No. Not even once.
3) Did they let you say, “Make my day, punk” when they stopped boaters for safety inspections? Nope.
4) Did they let you drive the boat? Nope.
5) Did they let you use a stun gun to fish? Heck, no.
6) Did they give you a free badge or hat? Nope.
7) Really? Yup.
You can also forget about having them play your favorite “on the water” CD and you’d better bring your own cold water because there isn’t even a cooler.
When I suggested patrolling the lake to find blinged-out macho men going 90 mph in their Cigarette boats, I was gently reminded that there is no speed limit on the lake and that — as long as they’re not being reckless — boaters can go as fast as they dare.
That, beloved readers, defined my day with the Rangers.
We didn’t “pull over” anybody. We merely floated over to a few fishermen for safety inspections — looking for life vests, flotation devices, fire extinguishers, boat registrations and fishing licenses.
These Rangers were two of the friendliest people you have ever met. Having them come alongside you boat would make YOUR day. Far more like greeting friends than being busted by The Man.
Seriously. Rangers Stephens and Crump were two of the most professional, courteous, diligent workers of any kind that I have ever met. Could they have been on their best behavior for me? Sure. But you cannot fake the way they dealt with the people they met on the lake. Instead of establishing their authority and coming in high and mighty, they greeted boaters in a genuinely friendly, disarming manner. It was more like being with Oprah and Dr. Phil than a couple of tough guys.
My guess is the boaters we met for safety inspections have a better opinion of law enforcement than ever before. In spite of not being allowed to play with their toys, so do I.
They’re not on the lake to spoil anybody’s fun. They won’t shoot you if you pass them going 60 mph. Rangers patrol the lake to keep it safe. You don’t have to be afraid of them.
Will they arrest you if you’re Driving Under the Influence? Absolutely. Do you want drunks zipping around the lake? Neither do they.
Rangers keep Lake Lanier safe for us all … and they do it with courtesy and consistency.
When I gave Ranger Stephens a shot at global fame by being quoted here, he jumped at the chance!
Here are his now famous words: “Please tell people to take boating safety courses. Did you know that you can rent a Jet Ski that goes 70 mph? For their own safety and for the safety of others on the lake, please urge people to take a course in how to operate boats and personal water craft.”
I am thankful that we have such public servants who put their lives on the line for us every day. We are in good hands.
One final note: I also took pictures of them without their glasses and hats, at their request. I liked this one better.
Click Here for Boating Courses from the US Coast Guard Auxiliary
Click Here for the Georgia Dept of Natural Resources Website
