Sure, Lake Lanier might be the most delightful body of water in America — maybe even the entire galaxy. But Lake Lanier for Spring Break? Ummm, maybe not.
Not that we want to pick on our friends at LivAbility.com for recommending our perfect lake as a destination for thousands of tanned, toned, buffed beauties in bikinis, mind you. We just think that … well, Gainesville’s Chicken Statue — our sincere paean to poultry — might be less attractive than the beaches of what we lovingly call The Redneck Riviera along the Gulf of Mexico.
The LivAbility folks didn’t stretch the truth, really. For example, they wrote: “The things to do in Gainesville and the outdoor activities around the lake make it a great spring break destination, even if it’s not warm enough for swimming. There are hiking trails, biking trails and plenty of scenic drives.”
Some of the hot spots in town — the Northeast Georgia History Center, Alta Vista Cemetery, Historic Green Street, the Beulah Rucker Museum and The Piedmont Hotel — might not slake the thirst of the heartiest partiers, but we welcome one and all to enjoy Spring Break on and around Lake Lanier!
All we ask is that revelers quiet down after 9 PM, pick up their trash, and leave one booth open at El Sombrero at all times.
Party hearty and leave your money! We promise to spend it wisely.
