What? Gridlock traffic on Eclipse Day? Who knew?
Yup. WSB Radio declared a “gridlock alert” for I-985 North from The Mall That Ate Georgia probably all the way to the North Pole.
Oh, they said it was gridlock at 10 AM. I wonder how they’ll describe it at 5 PM, when everybody goes home at the same time?
Our pals with the Habersham County Sheriff’s Department — who supplied the photo below showing clogged traffic near Tallulah Falls on the road that I-985 turns into when it stops being I-985.
Here’s more exciting news from the Habersham County Sheriff’s Department! Ready? “Cellphone service has begun to deteriorate in the area. It will only get worse.”
Yup. That’s what happens when rural cellphone towers are suddenly used by 3.16 gazillion cellphone and tablet users simultaneously. Again, that warning came at 10 AM — before all the gridlocked traffic arrives. If it ever arrives.
When my kids were little, I would say: “I don’t want you to eat in the living room! And when you do, clean up after yourselves!”
Here’s the modern version from the Georgia Department of Transportation”
[We] ask that you not park your vehicle on the shoulder of the roadway. If you do stop on the shoulder make sure that your vehicle is out of the roadway. If your vehicle is found to be causing a traffic hazard it will be towed.
If you go outside to a quiet place … and you listen very closely … you can hear these words floating on the wind from our gridlocked neighbors in North Georgia …
- I’m hungry.
- Mom! Jimmy needs to piddle.
- What? I thought YOU brought the water!
- How much longer will we be stuck in traffic?
- Don’t worry. We can buy Eclipse Glasses when we get there.
