Do you think canoes are just for paddling with your honey in the moonlight?
Do you think kayaks should be outfitted with sensors to detect banjo music?
Sure, you’re right. But there’s more!
Pretty soon your eyeballs will be glued to your big screen TV to watch the Olympics.
You won’t know that your daughter ran off with a “tattoo artist” unwanted by everyone but the FBI and several drug dealers. There will be time after the Olympics to find out that your son dropped out of med school to become a street musician … as soon as he masters the potato flute. Click Here to Learn Why
Think of the money you’ll save on tuition, manicures and car insurance!
Rock the Olympics! Most of your family will still be around when it’s over … and I’ll bet *they* won’t be winning any gold medals for America.
Be a patriot:
- Take a magic marker and write two pizza delivery phone numbers on the wall by your TV.
- Velcro your clicker to your hand.
- Have extra clicker batteries nearby.
- Get a Barcalounger big enough to stuff a frig on one side and a microwave on the other.
- Call and tell your boss you’re coming down with a cold and you’ll call back later. You don’t have to say which month.
- Don’t waste time looking for ice skating and ski jumping. This is the summer Olympics.
- Study the Olympic US Canoe & Kayak Team Guide. There will be a quiz.